In this extraordinary memoir, Gwyneth Lewis, the inaugural National Poet of Wales, recounts her toxic upbringing at the hands of her controlling, coercive mother. It is a book that Gwyneth has been preparing to write all her life, in diaries which she’s kept since childhood. In these journals, she interrogates the emotionally abusive mother/daughter relationship, in great pain but determined to find a way through.
The result is a book which Gwyneth co-writes with her younger self, an unexpected and life-saving dialogue through time. Metaphors of haunting intensity help her confront what happened to her; quotations from art and literature help to guide and steady her. Nightshade Mother is a book about the power of art, language and, ultimately about homecoming after a lifetime of exile from herself. It is a profoundly moving and beautiful work; questing, forgiving and loving in its approach.
‘An astonishing memoir… a triumph of tone and poise amidst so much disarray and confusion… It seems to me extraordinary that Gwyneth Lewis is more than able to write this unique version of the growth of the poet’s mind’.
Adam Phillips
‘In this unsparing memoir of a passionately controlling mother…, Gwyneth Lewis explores the nature of the damage done, the discovery of patchy but real vehicles of healing, the challenges of where and how to offer – or to postpone – forgiveness… It is a moving, difficult, and, ultimately, loving record, insisting on growing beyond both collusion and resentment’.
Rowan Williams
‘This is an extraordinary book: an anatomy of an abusive relationship, harrowing but leavened by love… It is, in the end, a story of healing. Inspirational’.
Tom Bullough
‘This book was dangerous to write and is troubling to read. …. She succeeds in negotiating a liberating truce with her deeply troubled past. And so this remarkable volume ends in cautious optimism with the rebirth of a person and of a writer.’
M Wynn Thomas
‘A recent book which inspires me is Gwyneth Lewis’s memoir, Nightshade Mother: A Disentangling (Calon Books). The inaugural National Poet of Wales, she is a wonderful writer in English and Welsh. She reclaims her childhood from the corrosive effects of a coercive mother who tried to colonise her daughter’s writing talent, even to passing her own writing off as the young Gwyneth’s. This was a threat to the child’s personhood. I admire Gwyneth Lewis’s rigour and her respect not only for memory and perception, but for evidence. It’s a fascinating account of the perils of being a highly creative person and how important it is to be careful of the writing self.’
Angela Graham, Belfast Telegraph
Features:
Daily Mail: My emotionally abusive mother silenced me for decades
The Guardian: Poem of the week: Llyfr Geirfa fy Nhad / My Father’s Vocabulary Book by Gwyneth Lewis
The Times: I grew up in an abusive home with closed curtains — I went back and let the light in
Golwg 360: “Y llyfr anodda’ i fi ei sgrifennu erioed”
Reviews:
Terri Apter, Times Literary Supplement Review: Webs of words: Reconciling with a mother’s tongue
The Spectator: Surviving an abusive mother-daughter relationship
Caught By The River: Nightshade Mother
Life Writing: Nightshade Mother
Nation Cymru – Book Review: Nightshade Mother
Buzz Mag: Gwyneth Lewis’ NIGHTSHADE MOTHER: a memoir of parental complexity and personal grow
Amy Mcgrath Hughes: Book Review: ‘Nightshade Mother – A Disentangling’
‘Nid oes yma faddau hawdd na chatharis braf, ond mae yma ddatgelu gwirioneddau pwysig am natur – a pheryglon – cariad a theulu, sydd yn ysgwyd y darllenydd i’r carn’. (‘Here is no easy forgiveness or pleasant catharsis, but the revelation of important truths about the nature – and dangers – of love and family, which shakes the reader to her core’.)
O’r Pedwar Gwynt
